One Year Out—What Have We Learned?
Note from Melanie: I’m setting up this blog post as we sit in the Frankfurt central library two hours before we head to the airport for our flight back to Malaysia. We’ve been on the most incredible road trip through Germany and a bit of France for the past six weeks. We’ll be writing more about that soon, but this trip was extra special for two reasons: 1) Emily and Mercy joined us for part of it, and 2) we celebrated the one-year anniversary of the Six Suitcases adventure! We left Austin on June 17, 2023. It’s crazy to think we’ve been out for an entire year! We’re thankful for photos that help us recall all the wonderful things we’ve gotten to experience, amazing places we’ve been able to see, marvelous humans we’ve met along the way, and all the many lessons we’ve learned in the process. We really could write a book about everything we’ve learned about the world, about life, and about ourselves through this journey so far. We’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately, and both of us realize there are some key things we’ve learned through it. Duane shares some of his reflections in this post.
Melanie and I left Austin on June 17, 2023, a little over one year ago, stating that “we are global nomads on a journey to see this grand big world that is our home.” We mentioned a few themes then as we started this blog, - critical themes we anticipated for the journey such as learning curve, problem solving, adventure, the search for a future home and grace.
Looking back over the last 394 days as I sit here looking out over the rooftops of central Berlin, here are few thoughts on what we are still sorting out in this journey we find ourselves in:
Keep expectations low. The travel guides, blogs and photos of others, whether professional or amateur, can generate heightened expectations about a place and all there might be to see and do there. That can often be a set-up for disappointment. Conversely, places not mentioned in the guides and blogs have often and surprisingly been pure delights. Sidestep the beaten path.
Pivots, great and small, are the norm. Isn’t that what an adventure is supposed to be? If you really knew what was ahead in your day, then your day wouldn’t qualify as an adventure. Although we plan for both long and short stretches of journey, we have pivoted more often this last year than we have “stayed the course” that we had planned. Whether settled in the U.S. or traveling abroad, being in control is an illusion. But we could not have imagined the number of pivots we’ve made since flying out of Austin.
The learning curve is real. Sometimes it’s at the right pace, but sometimes it’s overwhelming. We’ve been working on slowing down the overwhelming moments by telling each other: “We will get through this.”
Language is key. While English works well for us in Malaysia and in other places we’ve visited, English doesn’t work everywhere. English is a very tough language to learn with all of its irregularities, crazy spelling and never-ending rule-breaking. We salute all non-native English speakers who have learned our native tongue! But we are often in situations where finding a unicorn is more likely than finding an able and willing English speaker. Some can, yet choose not to speak. (“Grumpies gonna grump.) Whenever we have found ourselves in an English desert, we have learned that offering a genuine smile while attempting to utter the most basic greeting in the language of the land at hand is often the very game changer that will facilitate a measure of progress. But no guarantees. Communication still breaks down despite our best efforts.
Slow down for the person in front of you. We have met so many people and have had so many conversations over the last 13 months. The vast majority of them were not planned appointments, but rather, unplanned encounters. The person who is in front of us is the person who deserves all our attention, whether it is convenient for us or not. The prayer under my breath is that my oversized ego will continue to shrink in order to clear space for the one before me.
There’s no place like “home”. Early on we realized that schlepping six suitcases, - and a red tutu, - just wasn’t sustainable. Given how airlines now extract every possible add-on fee that they can come up with, we found ourselves handing out baggage fees to airline agents left and right through the summer of 2023. By autumn, however, we were surprised and delighted to discover the island of Penang off the west coast of peninsular Malaysia. (See previous Penang posts.)
Now we have an unbelievably affordable, tropical home base from which we can easily launch to (relatively) nearby countries where dear friends and family members live (Indonesia and India) and also get long-haul connections to Europe and North America through the beautiful Changi International Airport in Singapore. It also helps that we love Penang. The diversity of peoples and cultures on our island is a joy to us. And it also helps that English is the “go to” language in Penang.
Retiring together was the best possible decision we made in 2023. We have done 41 years of life together, including the ups and downs that come with that. Selling all one’s stuff and leaving one’s home country for the unknown is not an easy undertaking. We cannot imagine doing what we are doing without each other. A reliable partner is essential for a journey such as this and we are still learning how to plan and work together so we can keep going. We have encountered a few solo travelers since we left Austin, but they have all been young (mid-to-late 20’s) and they have all been short-term travelers. We have enjoyed our times with these intrepid solo adventurers and hope that in some way we have been an encouragement to them.
“24/7 grace” is the oil that keeps the engine running. The collateral effect of holding jobs/careers is that you have a very limited number of hours together each day. Full on retirement of both persons flips the former paradigm on its head. The unique challenges of being in the same space with the same person day after day provide opportunities for growth that can’t be had any other way. But doing life together, - whether it’s 24/7 or not, - only works when the short list of offenses is mediated by intentional grace. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Choosing to forgive one another is another way of saying, “I’ve got your back.” 24/7 grace creates space as we face each new day.
I’m sure that more lessons are on the horizon as we carry on in the global journey. We’re less-nomadic now with our Penang home base, but there are many people and places yet to see. We hold our plans loosely, of course, as we see ourselves in Penang for a longer stretch as we fly out from Germany now. We plan to continue building relationships in Penang but also get out and see more of this amazing world.
As always, thanks for reading. Stay in grace, dear friends!
Bali, Indonesia, June 2023. Where it all began.